Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Where would you find Percy Miller's toothbrush?

In his Master P room.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What do you call a seaside shanty for kids without parents?

A wharfanage

Why did Caitlyn Jenner lose custody rights of her kids?

Her kids couldn't see her anymore, she was a trans-parent.

Chav Jokes More Chav Jokes

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

What do you call a chav in a suit?

The defendant."

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

What's the difference between Bigfoot and a Mexican with a beard?

Bigfoot is occasionally sighted

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head?

It knocked him cold.

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.