Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Why did the feminist get triggered?

The police found it easier than arresting her.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

Why did the snowman have his pants down?

Because he heard the snowblower was coming.

Environmental Impact Statement Jokes More Environmental Impact Statement Jokes

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What has 3 tails 4 trunks and 6 feet ?

An elephant with spare parts !el

What has 6 eyes but cant see?

3 blind mice.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between an American rabbit and a French rabbit?

The American rabbit goes hippity hop and the French rabbit goes lickety split!

What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin?

One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich.

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

Asperger Jokes More Asperger Jokes

What do people with aspergers Do in the bathroom?

They take an aspie

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.