Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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Environmental Impact Statement Jokes More Environmental Impact Statement Jokes

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

Argue Jokes More Argue Jokes

What about Take Me On?

4 hrs of arguing later "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."

Who am I to argue?

So I thanked him and went back home.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do the racehorse that finished in second and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between God and an electrician?

A: God doesn't think **he's** an electrician.

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey?

One has a coo, the other has a coup

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3

What did the basic girl say after all her writing utensils broke?

I literally cant even write now

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants?

Two dam bad! (OC!)

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC