Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ?

On television !

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

Why was the blonde staring at the box of orange juice for a long time?

because it said "CONCENTRATE"

What was the pirate boxing champion known for?

His left hook.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

How did the farmer deal with the stubborn sheep's wool?

With shear willpower

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between reddit and 9gag?

3 hours, but it takes 1 day for it to get to Hot

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Argue Jokes More Argue Jokes

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

What about Take Me On?

4 hrs of arguing later "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

Who picks it up?

Santa. The other two don't exist.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do you keep an Idiot occupied?

Click here to find out( http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1v1wqm/howdoyoukeepanidiotoccupied/)

What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts?

M'rauders Map