Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

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3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What goes HO HO HO thud?

Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.

What does Santa call the elf police?

The Po Po Po.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

oc Because he cantaloupe.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

A: Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How is a man like a snowstorm?

A: You never know when he's coming how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

How do you see that a linedancer came from Belgium and not from the Netherlands?

He wears the cardboard box on his boots.

Chav Jokes More Chav Jokes

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

What do you say to a chav that has got a job?

Bigmac and fries please

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally?

He was just two tired.

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.