Mrs. Claus Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

You might also enjoy:

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Why did the french chef go to the police?

Escargot stolen.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

r/explainlikeimfive

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the Maple syrup farmer say when he saw a good looking maple tree?

I'd tap that."

What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America?

Antiquing.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.