What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

What's the difference between Santa and a pimp ?

Santa has just 3 Ho's...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A: A dependent Claus.

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

Why can't owls breed in the rain?

It's too wet to woo.

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.