Oc Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's a redditors worst fear?

Whats reddits favorite tv show?

The OC.

What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters?

It could be R and the C, but they definitely aren't OC.

How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants?

Two dam bad! (OC!)

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward?

OC A receeding Herr line.

How do you get into a Native American restaurant?

OC You make a reservation

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Which type of juice has the most mood swings?

Caprice Sun. OC

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

What do you call an Irishman who can't hold his liquor?

OC A quadriplegic.

How many redditors it takes to change a lightbulb?

OC It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this.

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love easter, baby." (OC)

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

How do you keep your dog young for longer?

Terrible OC Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

OC It was her sole comfort.

What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue?

OC) Brats!

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

What is the Kingsman policy on workplace relationships?

OC) Brogues before Hos

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

How many Zionists does it take to change a light bulb?

OC Just one. And if you disagree with me, you're an anti-Semite.

What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast?

OC I think I'll go on a diet!

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk?

OC) An utter disappointment

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch?

OC) A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years.

How did the urologist ruin his Christmas?

OC He looked inside Santa's sack.

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?

Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)

How do you know this is OC?

Its not on the front page

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom?

OC By process of elimination.

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

oc Because he cantaloupe.

What literary genre is Frozen?

Bildungsnowman. (OC)

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

How do you tell if you're a real gangster?

Take a blud test OC

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

Why is Karl Marx credited in so many movies?

OC) Because he wrote the Rom-Communist Manifesto.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why did the cow get a job at Google?

Because she was out standing in her field.

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

best before...

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

Who is the Sith Lord of fear?

Count Spooku

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear?

It was a brief chase...

What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep?

He's resisting a rest!"

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox?

Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.

Why did the Duck flying in the sky get Shot?

Michael J Fox was hunting rabbits.

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

What did the light bulb say to the switch?

You turn me on."

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What religion is Santa?

He's egg-nog-stic

Why does Santa have such a beautiful garden?

He is always Hoe-hoe-hoeing.

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What's the difference between Bigfoot and a Mexican with a beard?

Bigfoot is occasionally sighted

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A: A barber.