How do you tell if you're a real gangster?

Take a blud test OC

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How do you tell a bad joke from a good joke?

You skip the punchline.

How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone?

Just wait, they'll tell you.

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What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC