What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

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What happened when the chicken ate cement ?

She laid a sidewalk !

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

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What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream?

Lack-toes intolerant

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What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)