What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

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What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

What happens when two snails fight?

A: They slug it out.

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How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

What really ticks people off?

Time bombs.

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How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.