Crucify Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

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What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

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What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus Christ?

It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture of Jesus Christ

Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

Who's there A gorgon. A gorgon who?

420 gaze it. Geddit. Because then you'd be stoned Okay, sorry I'll leave.

Resurrect Jokes More Resurrect Jokes

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people do when a chemist dies?

They barium.

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How long are your arms?

Jesus: Why Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what Judas:Across. How long across.

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What do you call an Asian Pothead camping in Yellowstone?

A Yellowstoner.

What do you call an Asian who breaks a lot of wind?

Fa Ting

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Why should the Pope play NBA basketball?

Because every time he puts up a prayer it gets answered. (I thought of this myself, but it is so corny, it could easily be in every damn joke book.)

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Buddha Jokes More Buddha Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments