What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

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Which state?

Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me.

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?

They gave her a basketball and told her to read.

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How do you greet a British programmer named Cathryn?

Allo-cate

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

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What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)