Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC?

Adam and Eve

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Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?

Ryan Locht-up

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What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!"

Why do Russian police officers always work in groups of three?

One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

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What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

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Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.