Adam Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

What time of day was Adam born?

Just a little before Eve

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

Why can't you trust an Adam?

They make up everything.

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

What is Adam's brother called?

Subtractem

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.

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What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve."

Who was the first carpenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"

What where Adam's first words to Eve?

Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"

Who was the first carpenter ever?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

How do we know that Adam wasn't a black man?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man!! !

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black?

You can't take a rib from a black man

Who was the worlds first capenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?

Parents.

What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve?

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC?

Adam and Eve

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

Who was the world's first carpenter?

Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand.

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?

Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Who's there ! Adam ! Adam who ?

Adam up and tell me the total !

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What was the first treacherous thing said?

Adam you gotta try this!

How do you know that Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

How do we know Adam &amp Eve weren't black?

You ever tried taking a rib from a black man

How Do We Know That Adam Wasn't Black?

Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

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What is the similarity in between a dark joke and food?

Not everyone gets it

What kind of food do zombies hate?

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How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

r/explainlikeimfive

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What do you see as your biggest weakness?

ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What is Serena Williams' favorite time to practice?

Tennish

What type music should you practice before doing something dangerous?

Safety measures.

High Note Jokes More High Note Jokes

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

Why can't dwarfs sing?

Because they can't reach the high notes. Bonus: how does dwarves communicate? Smalltalk.

Bath Jokes More Bath Jokes

Where does a vampire take a bath?

In the bat-room (bathroom).

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Adam Levine Jokes More Adam Levine Jokes

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

What's Adam Levine's favorite holiday?

Halloween Halloween Halloween!

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"