What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How can we build this?

A business major asks, "How can we finance this " A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that "

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do Godot and my wife have in common?

Both are French.

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What's the difference between a nail and a painting?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

What is the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only need one nail to hang

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Why don't women get hit by trains?

There is no railroad tracks between the living room and the kitchen.

What do you call someone who belongs in the kitchen?

A Chef of course...