What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

Nobody does your job for you when you're out

Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the faucet turn on?

It was feeling .

Why did the PI detective cross the road?

He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night ?

Your grandma's jaws

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?

From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either.

Wave Jokes More Wave Jokes

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.