Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

A: Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

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Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

Which type of juice has the most mood swings?

Caprice Sun. OC

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A: A dependent Claus.

Barista Jokes More Barista Jokes

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

Why do engineering majors refer to themselves "engineers"?

You don't see literature majors calling themselves Starbucks baristas

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

Chinese Man Jokes More Chinese Man Jokes

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection?

Hi Ping

What do you call a Chinese man with one foot?

Taiwon Shou.

U.N. Jokes More U.N. Jokes

Who makes coffee for the U.N.?

The French Press Secretary!

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you call a Chinese conga line?

A Chu Chu train

What do you call an annoying Chinese chef?

A Woky Talky