What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

How do you start a rave in Uganda ?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

N Jokes More N Jokes

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly?

I n c o r r e c t l y

T Jokes More T Jokes

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Outside Jokes More Outside Jokes

What's the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?

The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine.

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum?

With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!

What's the difference between Audi drivers and a cactus?

Audi drivers have pricks on the inside

C Jokes More C Jokes

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?

nothing

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

Why did u shoot your wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot your wife instead of shootingher lover? Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Coconut Jokes More Coconut Jokes

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

U.N. Jokes More U.N. Jokes

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

Who makes coffee for the U.N.?

The French Press Secretary!