40+ Funny T Jokes - Curious United

What do you call a T-Bone steak without the T?

D-Bone steak

What is a Brit's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be "T", but it is "U". *Favourite, btw.

What will they call Mr. T after he dies?

Mr. T-Bone

What does Mr. T say when he walks into a buffet?

I pity the full!

What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

What is Mr. T's favorite month?

April, fools

What's Mr. T's favorite band?

the Foo Fighters

How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to and th e to two with lp he

What do you call a doctor who only swims with his t on?

A Sturgeon

What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

What is Mr. T's nickname for Wednesday?

A: Chump day.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

Who fought in the Civil War?

Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ....

What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?

nothing

What are two letters a Brit can't live without?

T and Qs.

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

How do you spell that?

t-h-a-t

What's wet on the inside, hairy on the outside, starts with C and ends in T?

Coconut.

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor."

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye?

He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)

Where's the T?

We threw it in the harbor." Merica.

How's my kid doing in school?

T: How's my kid doing in school I hate parrot teacher conferences

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag?

First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get

What do you get when you mix T and C?

Angry British people!

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

What's furry on the outside.. Wet on the inside.. Starts with a C... Ends with a T... And has U &amp N in-between?