Contain Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Why did Tim Tebow's mom protest against the Russian soup truck?

It contained a borscht ton.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox?

It couldn't contain itself.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Spine

What's wrong with a joke containing Cobalt, Radon and Yttrium?

It's CoRnY

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch?

It may contain viruses.

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

What two words contain the most letters?

A: Post office.

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Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?

A full set of teeth

Bake Jokes More Bake Jokes

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

Loonie Jokes More Loonie Jokes

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What do you call a canadian enchilada?

A centimeter-alada

What do the Montreal Canadians drive?

Carrs.

Page Jokes More Page Jokes

How do you bring a joke to the front page?

deleted

How do you know a joke isn't a repost?

When it doesn't reach the front page.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior?

They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire

How do all racist jokes start?

Looks over left shoulder* *Looks over right shoulder*

Tupperware Container Jokes More Tupperware Container Jokes

How are a tupperware container and a walrus alike?

They both like a tight seal.

What do a walrus and a Tupperware container have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed?

Han So-high.