How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox?

It couldn't contain itself.

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Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun?

She was a roman catholic.

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What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!