Bake Jokes

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

What is the driest soda you can buy?

Baking soda.

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What does the KKK use to bake cookies?

White flour!

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What do you ask a Jamaican who's baking a cake?

Hey, are you Jamaican a cake?

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

Why do chefs put so much effort into baking cakes?

Because you only get out what you pudding.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

How can you tell if a potato is baked?

It's are all red and glossy.

Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil?

Because he took the hypocritic oath

What is pickle bread before its baked?

Dill dough

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

How hot was that oven?

That they baked you in Because you're hotter than a freshly baked Pizza!

Why are you baking octopus?

So I can get octopi.

Why did the cookie get fired from his job?

He came to work baked.

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

What form of radiation bakes you cookies?

A gramma ray

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

Why did the cookie smoke weed?

Because he wanted to get baked.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo?

Bread in captivity.

What's a Brit's favorite baked good?

cake.

What do you call bread baked in the south?

inbred

What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

A high turnover.

What is Chalah before it's baked?

Judo

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

How did Pedro fix his car?

With Espana.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Where does a lonely ant go when it is separated from its colony?

I have no idea, but this looks like a good joke. So post your proposals in comments.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do crows go to buy groceries?

Kroger

What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten?

The cat shat on the mat.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

Because he couldn't concentrate.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out all the w's.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What was the aardvark's favorite Lady Gaga song?

Just Ants. Credit: My friend, the PUNisher.

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.