Bake Jokes

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

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What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

What is the driest soda you can buy?

Baking soda.

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What does the KKK use to bake cookies?

White flour!

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What do you ask a Jamaican who's baking a cake?

Hey, are you Jamaican a cake?

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

Why do chefs put so much effort into baking cakes?

Because you only get out what you pudding.

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What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

How can you tell if a potato is baked?

It's are all red and glossy.

Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil?

Because he took the hypocritic oath

What is pickle bread before its baked?

Dill dough

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

How hot was that oven?

That they baked you in Because you're hotter than a freshly baked Pizza!

Why are you baking octopus?

So I can get octopi.

Why did the cookie get fired from his job?

He came to work baked.

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

What form of radiation bakes you cookies?

A gramma ray

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

Why did the cookie smoke weed?

Because he wanted to get baked.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo?

Bread in captivity.

What's a Brit's favorite baked good?

cake.

What do you call bread baked in the south?

inbred

What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

A high turnover.

What is Chalah before it's baked?

Judo

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What do you call a walking talking rat?

Keemstar

How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are?

They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

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Why did the cookie get fired from his job?

He came to work baked.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

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What do you call an orange thats been in the sun too long?

tangerine

How about baked chocolate cake?

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What does a donkey say?

It says "Hey Shrek, whats up?" (I was 9 when i made this okay)

What do you get when you sit on a potato?

A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do computer experts do at weekends?

Go for a disk drive.

Colorado Jokes More Colorado Jokes

What do you call a Frenchman in Colorado?

A French Fried

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

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What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.