Chinese Man Jokes

What's the difference between a Chinese man and a lobster under a bus?

Nothing. They're both crustacians.

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How Long is a Chinese man?

Its his name.

How do you blind a Chinese man?

lay floss over their eyes

What Does A Chinese Man Need When Taking his Dog Out?

Oven mitts.

How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

What do you call a Chinese man allergic to dogs?

Starving.

Why did the Chinese man tell a joke?

Just China be funny.

Why did a chinese man ride a bike to the brothel?

To get laid.

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat?

A vegetarian.

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What do you call a Chinese man with one foot?

Taiwon Shou.

When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

What did the Chinese man say when Winter came around?

Reddit snow, reddit snow, reddit snow!

What do you call a Chinese man with a video camera?

Phil Ming

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?

Just spin him around in circles until he's disoriented

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other?

Li Ning

How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno, ask the Kids.

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs?

He was shot in the face.

How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection?

Hi Ping

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction?

Wong Wei

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

What did the Chinese man say when ophthalmologist told him he had a cataract?

No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord?

The leash goes slack...

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?

A petticoat !

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus?

Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!"

Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop?

She was hit by a bus

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" And a Scottsman says "Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"

What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset?

The variables aren't necessarily related.

Blind Jokes More Blind Jokes

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

What's the difference between a virtual car and a real one?

You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time