Floss Jokes

How do you blind a Chinese man?

lay floss over their eyes

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Why do tampons have strings?

So you can floss your teeth with them after you've used them.

When was the last time you flossed?

Me: "BRO, you were there."

What does AF mean?

After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?

FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

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Blind Jokes More Blind Jokes

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends?

Their i's don't work

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?

You get to the other side.

What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly?

Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector.

Grind Jokes More Grind Jokes

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed?

So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?

How did you get malaria from a stab?

Malaryan Steel."

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?

He forgot the safe word.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What's difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never paid to have a lentil in my mouth.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.