Grind Jokes

Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was ground a few minutes ago.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?

Have I got an ax to grind with you.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

What do giants and strippers have in common?

They both grind on bones to make their bread.

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Bone Jokes More Bone Jokes

What do you call a fish that is good for your bones?

An orthopedic sturgeon. :D

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the Caucasian gymnast fall off the balance beam while on television?

Because the white balance was off on the camera.

How did the blonde break her leg from raking the leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

Prom Jokes More Prom Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

A: His ghoul friend.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Lesbian Jokes More Lesbian Jokes

What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?

Single.

Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

When they get to third base they think they've scored

High School Jokes More High School Jokes

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

How does Alabama keep alcohol out of high school?

Change the drinking age to 25

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.