Grind Jokes

Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was ground a few minutes ago.

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What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?

Have I got an ax to grind with you.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

What do giants and strippers have in common?

They both grind on bones to make their bread.

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

Why did the kid fall out of the tree?

I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure

Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.

How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?

giANT!!

Prom Jokes More Prom Jokes

What's a down syndrome's kids favorite thing to do at prom?

Slow Dancing.

Why did the skeleton go alone to prom?

Because he had to go with.

Spectacle Jokes More Spectacle Jokes

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

Ax Jokes More Ax Jokes

What happens if an axe falls on your car?

You have an ax-i-dent (accident).

What did little Paul Bunyan say when his mom asked him how he damaged his favorite toy?

It was an ax-I-dent.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes?

Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home?

Cantaloupe

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.