Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How about the early worm?

How'd that work out for him

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What do cops and sports photographers have in common?

They get paid to shoot black men.

Why did the cops show up at the elementary school?

A 1st grader was resisting a rest.

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment