Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?

They can wear casual clothes to work

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: So who wants to know Why do *you* want to know Are you a cop

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.