Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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Oinkment Jokes More Oinkment Jokes

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

Require Jokes More Require Jokes

Why aren't you married yet" is like asking "Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?

B/c it's painful and not required

Why did the operation Barbarossa fail?

The supreme commander didn't have the balls required.

Flu Jokes More Flu Jokes

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

How did you get here?

he asked. And the new angel replied "Flu..."

Tweetment Jokes More Tweetment Jokes

What do you give a sick bird?

A tweetment

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

Why doesn't cancer let anyone in a music store?

It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible

How many dead babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

there was a porkward silence

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a kink and a fetish?

A kink is something put in a hose, a fetish is something she wants to put in your hose.

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four