Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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How did you get here?

he asked. And the new angel replied "Flu..."

What do you call a pig with the flu?

A swine swine.

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Why didn't they use Black Phosphorous?

It doesn't work.

What's the difference between a rhinoceros and a mattababy?

Works every time What's a mattababy Nothing what's a matta with you

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What's the difference between white socks and red socks?

Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

Whats the difference between New York and Middle Earth?

Two towers.

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What's the bad news?

Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

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What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

What do you call a flying pig?

Swine flu

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How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon

What do you call a pig with good table manners?

Sick.