Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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Spawn camper.

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Throw it into a wood chipper.

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His alibi.

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It can't buy you money.

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What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

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Why does the KKK like christmas?

Because it's the one day that they have an excuse to hang coloured balls from trees.

What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

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What's the difference between a microwave and a Muslim?

A microwave doesn't blow up every time the timer goes off.

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

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Whats the funniest type of bird?

Crows! they're the undisputed kings of CAW-Medy

What Bird?

Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow.

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When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?

When it's intersected by a plane

Why did the terrorists have to blow up a Paris nightclub?

Because their planes kept missing the Eiffel Tower.

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What do you call a flying pig?

Swine flu

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.