Blind Jokes

How do you blind a Chinese man?

lay floss over their eyes

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares their dogs too much

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends?

Their i's don't work

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

How do you blind a woman?

You put a windshield in front of her.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?

Nice shades. (sorry)

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

How can you instantly blind an Asian person?

put a steering wheel in front of them

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

How do you blind an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the mexican say when the 2 houses fell on him?

Get off me holmes!

Why did the bicycle fall over??

Because it was two tired...

Idear Jokes More Idear Jokes

What do you call a blind buck?

No idear. What do you call a blind buck with no legs? Still no idear.

What do you call a deer with no eye?

NO IDEAR!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the husband tell his wife to do after he slapped her?

The same thing he told her the first time!

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

School Jokes More School Jokes

How is Rock School going dear?

It's School of ro- *sigh* nevermind.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

A: Rep Tiles

What kind of country has a clown problem?

The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!