Blind Jokes

How do you blind a Chinese man?

lay floss over their eyes

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Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares their dogs too much

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

Why can't blind kids have imaginary friends?

Their i's don't work

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them

How do you blind a woman?

You put a windshield in front of her.

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

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What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?

Nice shades. (sorry)

Why don't blind people go sky diving?

It freaks out the dogs!

How can you instantly blind an Asian person?

put a steering wheel in front of them

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

How do you blind an Asian woman?

Put a windshield in front of her.

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

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Blind Guy Jokes More Blind Guy Jokes

How do you find the blind guy at a nudist colony?

It ain't hard.

What did the blind guy say to the deaf guy?

I hear what your saying, but I don't see your point

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane?

Aren't they themselves a carry-on?

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

How long you two been married?

It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time.

What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Long time no sea.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: WHAT

How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight!

Blind Person Jokes More Blind Person Jokes

How can a blind person tell if they're home?

They check the architexture.

What type of movie does a blind person watch?

Black and black movies.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What are you going to be when you get out of school?

An old man!

What's a hotdog's best subject in school?

History. Because history has always been written by wieners.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What did one leg say to the other?

Shorty's growin a beard.

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call a car if you don't know its gender?

Mitsuheshe.

What's Justin Bieber's favorite make of car?

Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry.