Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?

Because they always blow their trunks off!

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

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What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

What's the difference between a School and an ISIS training ground?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone

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How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP