Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey?

A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.

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What do you call a model flying an airplane full of animals?

Zoolander

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

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What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?

The Tchernobyl cowboy.

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise