What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

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Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

Why did the pancake cross the road?

His friends egged him on

What did the sperm say to the egg?

Nice to meet you. Wanna make a baby?

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

What do you get when... ...you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone?

Are you vegan?

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

What's this fly doing in my soup?

The waiter responds, "The backstroke."