Table Jokes

Why didn't the table want to be sat on?

He wasn't a charitable guy

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

What's best about hiring an immigrant midget?

You pay them under the table )

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants?

What do you call a couch, chair, and a table made out of plants? Ferniture.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What's the difference between an arts student and a table?

A table can support itself

Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table?

DaVinci

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?

giANT!!

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

Whats your biggest weakness?

I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*

How's your meal?

i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

What shape is your table?

A: Um, round But that's not really... R: Got it

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Why won't pigs take up jogging?

They don't like to get that far from the table.

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Who's there ! Amanda ! Amanda who ?

Amanda the table!

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

You might also enjoy:

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What's big and white and sits in a tree?

A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree A fridge wearing jeans.

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

Why did the negative number look so surprised?

He was nonplussed.

Pool Table Jokes More Pool Table Jokes

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs on a pool table?

Rick O'Shay

How do you know when you're in a true, tough lesbian bar?

Even the pool tables have no balls

Struggle Jokes More Struggle Jokes

What's one thing the Hulk would struggle tearing down?

The fourth wall

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ?

To see if there was any more money in the kitty !

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?

He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

Who do you think cares?

Nobody. They're too angry at the mods at to care.

Olive Jokes More Olive Jokes

How would you describe that green sheep?

Me: I don't know. Olive ewe Her: I knew you'd say it first! I love you too! Entrapment 101

What kind of olives do I like?

Olive them

Picnic Table Jokes More Picnic Table Jokes

What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of 4.

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of four