What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

Pitchfork Jokes More Pitchfork Jokes

Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens?

Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.

What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies?

Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.