What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body?

Dumbbelldor.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did my husband die?

Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am" Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!" Doctor: "I know, but I did"

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents?

Cos it's tear-able.

How do you know when Santa's in the room?

You can sense his presents.

X Jokes More X Jokes

Why did the pirate date the mermaid?

He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty.

Why does he do that?

Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What the difference between a ISIS member and a child?

I don't know, I just fly the drones.

Why was the sterile Grizzly upset?

Because he couldn't Bear children.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How many vampires does it take to open the Curtain on Daylight?

Just one with depression.

Why is the door to heaven always open?

Because Jesus was born in a barn.