What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How much does automail cost?

An arm and a leg.

How long are your arms?

Jesus: Why Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what Judas:Across. How long across.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has fifty legs but still can't walk?

A: Half a centipede.

What has no eyes and four legs?

No idea.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Which side is it best to lie on?

she asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end?

It was unmiscible.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

Phil Jokes More Phil Jokes

What's the song that coldplay wrote for you?

Yellow. *Phil answers phone*

What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones?

Phil, eh?

Ditch Jokes More Ditch Jokes

Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?

A: Her blinker was on.

Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park