Phil Jokes

What should we call this giant advertising board?

Phil: A philboard Bill: I have a better idea

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What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones?

Phil, eh?

What do you call a man in a hole?

Phil.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

What's the song that coldplay wrote for you?

Yellow. *Phil answers phone*

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede." Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime.

Amp Jokes More Amp Jokes

Why did Bill Gates &amp?

Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, "Go fish".

What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos?

An Aristotalitarian Regime.

Phil Collins Jokes More Phil Collins Jokes

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

Why was Phil Collins... ...never a good betting man?

Because he always went Against All Odds.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing they do to a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll before it leaves the factory?

Give it two test-tickles!

What's the last thing a Redneck says before he dies?

Watch this!

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music?

Mount Rushmore

What is Shia Labeouf's favourite genre of music?

Jazz Duets.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow?

A: To study economics.

Record Jokes More Record Jokes

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

Glue doorknobs to the walls.

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Both of their biggest hits were the wall.