How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel?

Same reason children don't attack their parents...

What is your sin, child?

My husband and I are arguing That's very common. ...about my boyfriend.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What is similar about a necrophiliac and an alcoholic?

They both like to crack open a cold one

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.

Abc Jokes More Abc Jokes

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

How do pirates sing the ABC's?

abcdefghijklmnopq AAAAARRRRRR stuvwxy and z