What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

A: Lawn chair.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

Adele. Some one set fire to the train

How did the Pillsbury Dough Boy Die?

A Yeast Infection

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today?

On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's a hippie's favorite animal?

An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.

Why do Retirees smile all the time?

Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

The alphabat.

Abc Jokes More Abc Jokes

Where do children learn their ABC's ?

At LMN-tary school !

Why can't a Pirate make it through their ABC's?

They always get lost at C.

Old Age Jokes More Old Age Jokes

What are three signs old age?

1. Becoming forgetful

What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker?

Not having to set aside money for your old age.