What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries?

Drunken Donuts

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What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.