What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries?

Drunken Donuts

Whine Jokes More Whine Jokes

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.