Whine Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

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What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

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What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?

An immigrant.**

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

A: Leave it to peave her.

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Why do a lot of tech recruiters have herpes?

Because they look for contributors to open sores.

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much?

Because they did not have proper tea.

What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

Right Wing Jokes More Right Wing Jokes

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs?

So they don't get mistaken for feminists.

Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?

Because it was a mail dominated industry

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What do you call a field used to grow bows and arrows?

An archerd.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building?

Tosses them off.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What's another name for a supernova?

A POPstar. HAHAHAHA. Living is pain. Unbearable. End me.

Who's there ! Anatole ! Anatole who ?

Anatole me you're a pain in the neck !