Whine Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?

A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?

An immigrant.**

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

A: Leave it to peave her.

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Nap Jokes More Nap Jokes

What do you call a relative of a nap?

A napkin.

Why did the broom take a nap?

It was sweepy.

20 Year Old Jokes More 20 Year Old Jokes

What do you get if you cross a 20-year-old man, and 37 steak knives?

25 years in prison

What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old?

About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

When he grow up, he will ask me, "Dad, did you name me after a planet?

And i will be like, "No:("

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do Albanian kids want to be when they grow up?

Italian

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What do you call a litter of puppies who've been out in the snow?

Slush Puppies

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?

You wake up wet !

How much does a birdhouse cost?

I don't know the exact price but I know they're pretty cheep

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call a German who cringes a lot?

Vince

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A panda with a set of drums.