Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

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What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

ma'lady

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

parkin'sins

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

plague-arism

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

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What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

tuber-culosis

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What disease does a mad scientist have?

boffin spongiform encephalopathy

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

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One is a runt with a cache.

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What organ do only British people have?

The Eng gland.

What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

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What do you do at a red light?

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Why was Game Of Thrones banned from twitter?

Because twitter has an 140 character limit.

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What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

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What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

What do you call not wanting to reminisce?

No-stalgia.

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What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a girls cross country team?

One is a group of cunning runts.

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What do you get when you kiss a canary?

Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease.

What do you get when you kiss a bird?

Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!