Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

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What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

ma'lady

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

parkin'sins

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

plague-arism

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

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What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

tuber-culosis

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What disease does a mad scientist have?

boffin spongiform encephalopathy

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

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Why did a man bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks were on the house..... I'll see myself out.

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

Diseased Beaver Jokes More Diseased Beaver Jokes

What's worse than a dead muskrat under your piano?

A diseased beaver on your organ.

What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano?

Finding a diseased beaver on your organ.

10th Jokes More 10th Jokes

How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor?

It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go.

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

Marry Man Jokes More Marry Man Jokes

What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

What disease does a married man have?

onejina

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!

What's the difference between a good joke and a woman?

The good joke doesn't get a black eye when you tell it a second time.

Smart Midget Jokes More Smart Midget Jokes

Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease?

Ones a cunning runt...

What's the difference between a smart midget... What's the difference between a smart midget and a woman with a venereal disease?

Well, one's a cunning runt...

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence?

A falcon genius.

What did all of the birds do to the bird that couldn't fly?

They ostrich-sized him

Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

What does the south call friends with benefits?

Cousins.....

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?

A spot-weiler!