Marry Man Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

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What disease does a married man have?

onejina

What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why didn't the life guard save the hippy?

Beacuse he was to "far out man".

Why do more men die in car crashes than woman?

Because women are at the wheel.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What is the monkey that can't peel the banana?

Terrible at CC

What's yellow and smells of bananas?

Monkey vomit

Stupid Jokes More Stupid Jokes

What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog?

Stupid.

What did the Polack and the Native American name their first kid?

Running Stupid

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why doesn't Kanye West take his wife to the beach?

Because he is afraid tidal wave will take her away from him.

What did Bob Marley say to his wife after he opened the fridge?

No, Woman, no pie."

Luck Jokes More Luck Jokes

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

What did Mr. Cena's fiance say on their wedding day?

No, John! can't see

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.