Marry Man Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

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What disease does a married man have?

onejina

What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich... Also an ambulance.

What's the difference between a group of crafty midgets and a jogging club comprised exclusively of women?

The former is a band of cunning runts...

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Big Wedding Jokes More Big Wedding Jokes

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

Why did the melons have a big wedding?

Well, they cantaloupe

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the Hungarian man say before he went to bed?

I'm going to bed." Except he said it in Hungarian.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Surname Jokes More Surname Jokes

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

A: surname

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

What's the name of the operation to change a woman into a man?

Addadictomy.

Fridge Jokes More Fridge Jokes

Whats rectangular, white and blue?

A fridge with a denim jacket on. HA!

What's big and white and sits in a tree?

A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree A fridge wearing jeans.

Minister Jokes More Minister Jokes

What happened when the cannibal ate a minister?

He got a taste of religion.

What do you call a man that marries another man?

A minister! Courtesy of a patient.