Bachelor Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

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Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Why do bachelors like smart women?

Because they're so rare.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between an Irish Party and an Irish Funeral?

One less drunken Irishman

What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Walnut on my chest..

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill"

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Exchange Jokes More Exchange Jokes

How did Caitlyn Jenner and Kanye West settle an argument?

They went outside and exchanged blows.

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

How was the party last night?

17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

Stripper Jokes More Stripper Jokes

What do you call a stripper you pay with noodles?

A PASTATUTE!!!

What do you call it when a stripper does charity work?

Pro work

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Smart Woman Jokes More Smart Woman Jokes

Why do bachelors like smart women?

Because they're so rare.

What do you prefer, honey?

A smart woman or a beautiful woman -Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How 'done' do you want your burger?

I can do "well-done" all the way to "CPR might actually work."

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.