Bachelor Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

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Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Why do bachelors like smart women?

Because they're so rare.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

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Fridge Jokes More Fridge Jokes

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a girls cross country team?

One is a group of cunning runts.

What is the difference between being Scottish, Irish, or Welsh?

The difference is what people you hate

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why did the pregnant lady douche with Chanel No 5?

She wanted to chanel her inner child

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??

A Cantaloupe.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How did the farmer grow his portfolio?

Cornstock

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

Exchange Jokes More Exchange Jokes

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?

Exchange him.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?

Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What's the definition of a good actor?

Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

A: Stem sell research.