Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill"

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

A: Stem sell research.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

What should I buy for dinner?

I see frozen peas are cool this time of year. ..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?

A: A first-aid kit!

Why did the cat go to the doctors?

Because it wasn't feline well

Organisation Jokes More Organisation Jokes

Who in the organisation likes cats the most?

The purchaser.

What kind of organisation is Atheism?

A non-prophet organisation.

Cashier Jokes More Cashier Jokes

How much is a dozen bananas?

ampnbsp And the cashier replies: &ampnbsp -Twelve bananas

What does your tattoo say?

Me: It doesn't talk. Cashier: Ya, but what does it say Me: IT DOESN'T TALK. Cashier: Ok, Ma'am.

Allahu Jokes More Allahu Jokes

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar

Stem Jokes More Stem Jokes

Where should we look to stem global overpopulation?

The youth in Asia.....

Why aren't there more women in STEM?

Because they're stupid and illiterate.

Notch Jokes More Notch Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic?

A few notches on the belt buckle.

Furniture Jokes More Furniture Jokes

Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay

Where did the witch get her furniture ?

From the ideal gnome exhibition !