Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill"

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

A: Stem sell research.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

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Ford Jokes More Ford Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has four legs and can fly?

Two Birds!

What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs?

Dragon lips. And a Mexican lady with no legs Consuelo.

Allahu Jokes More Allahu Jokes

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

Cashier Jokes More Cashier Jokes

Why did the customer slap the cashier?

Because he was checking her out.

Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

It didn't make cents

Furniture Jokes More Furniture Jokes

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?

The multiplication table.

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Bachelor Jokes More Bachelor Jokes

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

Slave Jokes More Slave Jokes

Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?

To remind black people they were slaves before they became drug dealers.

What kind of degrees do slaves get in college?

Their Master's.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!