Turkish Jokes

How many French words has the Turkish language recently adopted?

Beaucoup.

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What is the opposite of Turkish?

Pig Latin

Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge?

One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission.

Why did the chickens cross the road?

Because they were Turkish.

What's the favourite toy of Turkish rulers?

Beyblades.

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Why does all Turkish men have a mustache?

because they wanna look like their mother.

What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup?

Erdogone

What are Turkish cattle best known for?

Mootiny.

What's the Turkish version of court packing?

Turkey stuffing

Why did the chickens cross the border?

Because they were Turkish.

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Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels?

Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation.

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Erdogan Jokes More Erdogan Jokes

Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge?

One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission.

Why wasn't the coup in Turkey on Wednesday?

Erdogan's suit wasn't back from the cleaners.

Roach Jokes More Roach Jokes

Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels?

Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation.

What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

Military Coup Jokes More Military Coup Jokes

What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup?

Erdogone

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Who survives?

America.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Why do robbers steal money?

Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater