Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

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What did the sheep use to shave before his wedding?

Elopping shears

What currency do they use in space?

Star Bucks.

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What does the polite racist say?

I will take over now, if you allow.

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

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Why do they put chicken wire around these plants?

Other guy:" To protect the chicken plants"

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?

A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."