What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

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Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto?

He was asking for directions for the "k-k-k-mart."

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

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What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

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Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.

What do Lewinsky, Monroe, and Reddit have in common?

They all went down on a President.

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Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.