Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America?

By occident

Abe Lincoln Jokes More Abe Lincoln Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed ?!?!?"

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why didn't the table want to be sat on?

He wasn't a charitable guy

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes More Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What would be the movie called if it were about you?

You Yourself &amp Urine.

What is the movie name?

Independence Day

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why is Beyonce always singing about going "To the left"?

Because women have no rights.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?

A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!