Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?

Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep?

Because he was on the lam.

Penny Jokes More Penny Jokes

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How was your day?

Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers

What's a bear's favorite fruit?

Tom ( ). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug:

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does an agnostic ... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam"

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What did the blondes left leg say to her right?

Nothing... They've never met

Why is Beyonce always singing about going "To the left"?

Because women have no rights.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.