Lincoln Jokes

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

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Who was the only president that was not guilty?

Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

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What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

What do Lewinsky, Monroe, and Reddit have in common?

They all went down on a President.

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Why did the feminist get triggered?

The police found it easier than arresting her.

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.

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Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

Christopher Columbus Jokes More Christopher Columbus Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

How did Christopher Columbus find India?

He used Apple Maps.

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Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why wouldn't the Doctor wait in line?

He had no patients

What are you waiting for?

A car.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

Because they don't make any cents.

How do you pay for incense?

In cents

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."