What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?

Santa

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tires need changing too you know!

What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

Which format are the images you send?

Customer: "Rectangular 15x11 centimeters."

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Shrug Jokes More Shrug Jokes

Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*

How do you stretch your back?

I don't know." **shrugs*