Tire Jokes

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

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What do you call a man chasing a car?

What do you call a man chasing a car? -Exhausted What do you call a man being chased by a car? -Tired

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Roll them into a tire and call it a Goodyear.

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

What does a tire made of potatoes have?

An inner tuber.

How many Broncos does it take to change a tire?

One. Unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up.

What do you call clothes for a car?

A tire.

What do you call a gang of tires?

A rubber band

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tires need changing too you know!

Why was the car naked?

It was missing a tire.

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What do you call a tire named after Ferris Bueller?

A Ferris Wheel.

What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop?

Your tires are low.

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a dully dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

What is the difference between a tire and a black man?

The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it.

How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire?

Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man one bicycle?

A tire.

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

How did one tire get the attention of another tire?

pssssssssssst

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire!

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

What do you with 365 used rubbers?

Turn it into a tire and call it a goodyear.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

a tire.

Why didn't the car have a tire?

Because cars don't wear clothes.

What did the tire say to the tire?

A: I'm tired!

Why does it smell of tires?

There are two black people fighting.

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Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do you call 10 lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What's the difference between a black guy and snow tires?

Snow tires don't sing when you put their chains on.

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Arab riding a bicycle down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.

What does a strawberry and a blueberry have in common?

They both can't ride a bicycle!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They have a machine that does that now.

How many guys wearing turbans does it take to change a light bulb?

Sikhs.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?"

How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?

School Jokes More School Jokes

How does a communist do well in school?

He gets good marx.

Why did Cyclops close his school?

He only had one pupil.

Slave Jokes More Slave Jokes

What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

What does a slave owner do with his slaves when he's finished with them?

Races 'em.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a black man and happiness?

You can't buy happiness!

What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and some glue?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)