How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog that can't hear?

Doesn't matter much, does it

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where's Wally?

book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played.

When you gonna be famous?

I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse?

The psycho-path!

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

What do you call the James Brown songs no one listens to?

Defunct funk.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How does an elephant get down from a tree ?

He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

When does one play a corny game?

You play it by ear.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing?

A buccaneer.

Bark Jokes More Bark Jokes

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night ?

Your grandma's jaws

Who's there ! Bark ! Bark who ?

Bark you car on the drive !