Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

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What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

What is a primate's ideal salary?

A gorillian dollars per year.

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What kind of music do planets listen to?

Nep-tunes.

What do all battered women have in common?

In a frustrated voice) They just don't listen.

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What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

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How many hipsters does it take to...?

Bazinga! nobody cares! you fell for one of my practical jokes again.

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.