Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail?

Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

What do you call it when Batman leaves church early?

Christian Bale

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?

He's been underground for five years now.

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

Condescend Jokes More Condescend Jokes

What do you call a persnickety con artist walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.