Bark Jokes

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

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What do you call a submissive who likes to bark like a dog?

A subwoofer.

Why am I black and you're white?

A boy asks his mom, Why am I black and you're white? She says, Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark

Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree?

Because he couldn't bark

What's a dogs favorite part of a tree?

Stick? BARK!

How do you stop a dog from barking in July?

Shoot him in June.

What do you call a Wolfman who barks at a half moon?

UnawareWolf

What's the only type of dog that doesn't bark?

A dogfish!

What did the dog say to the tree?

Bark

What do you do to an Islamic dog that barks too much?

Musl'im

What did one tree say to the other?

Nothing. They bark.

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Why was the cat scared of the tree?

Because of its bark

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ?

An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !

Which do you let in first?

Your dog, because it'll stop barking once you let it in.

Where can you leave your dog when you shop?

The barking lot.

What do you call a barking dog riding the subway?

a sub-woofer!!!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night ?

Your grandma's jaws

What do you call a below average sized dog?

A sub woofer Yeah, I know I'm barking up the wrong sub reddit.

What is the outside of a tree called?

Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow.

What do Trees and Dogs have in common?

Bark.

What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?

The umbrella can be shut up.

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

Put him in your back yard.

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ?

His bark was much worse than it's bite !

How to teach a cat how to bark?

Pour some gasoline on it and WOOF!

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Why was the dog banned from the redwood forest?

He was barking up the wrong tree.

When is a tree it's loudest?

When it begins to bark.

What covers the outside of a dogwood tree?

Bark.

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

Who's there ! Bark ! Bark who ?

Bark you car on the drive !

What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree?

Hang onto your bark this will be no ordinary spark

Why is a toothless dog like a tree?

It has more bark than bite.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ?

A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !

What goes "krab krab krab"?

A: A dog barking in a mirror.

What did the dog say to the old tree?

Bark

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Why ever not?

The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!

Why is there such a shortage of teachers in Africa?

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Wrap it around a tree

How do you make a cat bark like a dog?

Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: "WOOF!"