Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living?

A bad gambler

How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human?

None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between an Iraqi elementary school, and an Isis hideout?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Why is dog man's best friend?

They keep the mailman away from his wife

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does COINCIDENCE' mean?

Student Funny, I was just going to ask you that.

What did the newsletter say to the other newsletter when he asked for help?

Bro sure!

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

Why was 5 afraid of 6?

Because 6 7 8! ...(in honor of May 4th Star Wars day)...

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What does a philosopher put his/her food on?

A contemplate

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

Where Your Children Are?

Even worse, the next song is called, "Can You Give Me Directions "